Petra is a yoga teacher and the owner of Divya Yoga Studio in Zagreb, Croatia.
She is currently based in Boston, travelling and managing the yoga school in Croatia. She is also studying at Middlesex University of Ayurveda London.
Always get Back
I’ve been practicing yoga for a several years. Do I really have the right to say that considering it’s a 5000 year old practice? Anyway let’s just say I have some experience. I can definitely say that it’s something I’ve been looking for my whole life.
Yoga teaches you to focus and aside from the physical exercise, it takes you away from the everyday activity in to your own space. A space where you can see the real values helping to step besides your own little world and realize there is more to everything. Now this might be a little confusing. First I said it takes me into my little world and then besides it.
About a year and a half ago I found out that I was pregnant. As you practice yoga you definitely develop some sensitivity towards the changes in the body. I remember the time when I felt that something was different. I took a home test and it was positive. That moment was amazing – I was happy and scared. At the same time I kept the big news to myself for another couple of days. Straight away I stopped practicing asanas trying to take the best care of myself. I really loved being pregnant. It’s a special time in a woman’s life.
When my pregnancy was stable I came back to the physical part of yoga, to the asanas, and I must admit, it felt great. My back especially, but the whole body and mind were almost screaming for movement. When you are pregnant people sometimes treat you like you are sick or disabled. I definitely took precautions and was very careful with what I was doing with my body. But I was on my mat everyday.
The practice was completely different from what I was used to. It was soft and gentle all the way into the ninth month of my pregnancy carrying a big baby. My little son (10 pounds 6 ounces – so much for little) was born six and a half months ago. I felt more love than I have ever felt before.
He was a strong healthy baby, but he didn’t pass the hearing test. That really scared my husband and me. Further testing showed that our little one is profoundly deaf. That moment when you find out such news is indescribable. First you start questioning what you have done wrong. Why you. Why your baby.? There is no answer to these questions. I know I didn’t do anything wrong. It’s simply how it is.
But to come to that point of understanding it definitely takes some time and energy. The practice helped. I got back on the mat 10 days after my C-section; only tiny stretches to keep myself sane. It wasn’t easy not to be able to touch my toes and to go through pain as the body was slowly getting back into shape. But it definitely kept me out of my mind and of the situation.
I hear a lot of parents complaining about how they can’t keep the practice because of the child. It’s not easy and I am very lucky to have a calm child who watches me as I practice, with a smile. But it’s not always like that. There are days when I have to assist him many times, get off the mat and feed him or change a diaper, but the important thing is to GET BACK ON THE MAT.
My Transcendental Meditation (TM) teacher, dearest Narasimhan, told me if there is someone at the door, go get it, do what needs to be done but then return and continue with your meditation. I think that’s really what it is and it doesn’t only apply to parents.
So I have one suggestion for every soul fighting with tapas – the daily practice. Just get on that mat every day no matter what happens, and keep returning.
At the moment we are in the process of getting cochlear implants for our son. Hopefully he will be able to hear his first Om in late July this year.